honest game

OK. 

this one will be the HONEST blog post.
its not on my blogger because..its more..discreet, secretive..ya know.
but yes it IS still public.

i am too bored.
here goes nothing

"i thought this guy was stewart kyle at first look, and i was like 'whoa this guy is cute'.  turns out to be eddy spiers' brother"

 
i said "this picture makes me want to have a filo bf" somehow.

i thought chino looked good in this pic. i think i looked messed up.

 
dont we look good. shut up will youre thinking it. haha. too many people have asked if hes my bf frm just starin at this pic. no hes not. cept i still think what people thought in 7th grd..

  
luigi looks kinda guapo here. my type of guapo biotches. so do all of the other chicas and chicos. course we look sexy, were wearing formal clothes.

i want to go to school.

FRIENDS: www.sinfuloverdose.blogspot.com

 sorry guys i havent been commenting back...comment me on blogger please. xp.kinda been busy on that thing.
MWAH.

xoxo.bii

Jan's Slumberthday (Party??)

Where: Jan's House!!
When: ages ago on his birthday 

ciee, jan's fourteen.

anek-nek and kevin

 
cie you're fourteen! dude, 14 jan! so am i. i dont know why im so psyched about it.

 
jans partay people. KG and Canisius.

 
bii. and jan.

 
ngex? jan. none of that! kevin, even none more of that! bianx eat first, then smile ok? haha im so messed.

nope not sleepy yet. andie and bii are actually ABOVE kevin.

 
nope not yawning. yet. kev and bii.

jan you're supposed to be smiling.

 
the amid the dios and the jo anne.

 
helloww tita susan.

 
chinow.

sleeping anek-nek

sleeping kevin.

 
the brithday boy is sleepin with his new shirt.

 
the nekster and the amid.

chinow and bii.

peace.love.guns.rebel.
.bii. 

Farewell, Chazz Ma' Boy

Where: Buzz Cafe
When: June 8th, 2oo6

*after the Moving On Ceremony*

it was great having you as part of us Chazz.
we'll never forget you. right guys.

 
chazz's farewell 'o6.

kell bell and bii.

kell bell and bii 2.

derek. hmm.

hello there.

 
hey bebe!

 
joel.

 
no smoking! thieme.

 
OMG nick!

 
ooh.

|
rich.veg.rows.aux.

 
sam bii. same old, same old.

 stoned.
(but wasn't there no alcohol?}

 
thieme.

 
wew derek!

 
what's that you say?

peace.love.guns.rebel.
.bii.

lennart.

those bright blue eyes of soft steel
melt my insides whenever the shine shows through
they play with mine. the deeper it stares the more i feel
i think i like you

smile for me, make me forget
what i had in mind, is you.
dont fret.
take it but dont leave it.
i feel you too.
 
but will this matter in the instant, will you stay true..
because i know we are apart in many ways
so make this one a good one..yes, or no..

i miss that moment where we see eachother
and all we see is what we want
i crave the instance of a grin or glance
that changes the mood of that empty presence

but

already you sparked an 'i hope it will last'
dont you think of me and your question asked?
just a few days and you say i dont know
dont you care about what i want to show?
just give it time babe i know its hard
to let it slowly sink yet we both are scarred.

its not because i dont want to
or because i dont try
or because i dont cry just to see you tonight
its because i cant
i try but i shan't

not now not tomorrow no way no how
dont go just stay its hard i know
look at me, deep and real
i long for the time of us, can you try to feel?

im not like them, im not like her.
im sorry
im different.

i love you.

.bii.

"Three Guys and a Girl"

grinning like a child in the bright sunlight
ready to hit the bat
ready to spin the hat

he fills the stage with his sense of presence
not wondering or waiting
wanting or thinking
but smiling and showing
(once again. i fell)
(twice another. in my shell)
(three chimes. of  his bell)

the strings come out so nice and smooth
well ready for spools of thread
the cloth folds in so soft and strong
well done for pins and crumbs of bread

reality screams the cotton was cut
beaten and bashed and threaded
only for you he was there but not
only for her his presence she mended

fuck it.
ill savour the moment while it lasts.
a while.

dead. silent. cold. weird.
freak. bull shit. creep.

i brush the dust away from the block
i clean the leaves off the face of the rock

i see and feel differently
  towards what i see and feel in front of me

  a different texture. perhaps another layer
  i wasnt wrong. i took the hammer and craved under

  i broke another. just one other
  i see another. what a blunder.

  has this got to stop
  when the leaves i brushed pile up themselves
  or were they piled up by another's self?

  (someone helped. but i tripped and cracked on my heart)
  (he picked up the pieces. glued it back together.)
  (ive lost my walls and all my guards)

  bit by bit wont do me any good.
  im just tired of waiting. i guess.
  or am i.

  everything is not right
  nothing has gone alright
  dont leave me without a fight
  a cold blooded stance
  in the cold mist of the night

  where have you come from
  disturbing the peace
  disturbing my peace
  from the slippery paths
  from the chilling frost
  from the dark alley ways
  from the loneliness the most

  youve come to take my hand
  i push it away but i didnt let go
  not letting go
  not anytime soon
  i want you here with me
  but i didnt want me to see
  what i really want inside
  is something that i cannot hide

  youve come to pick me up
  i am kneeling at your feet
  i refuse to lift my legs
  to feel your breath on my cheek
  but i still have hands
  tight around yours
  im not letting go
  not anytime soon

  youve come to give me warmth
  your arms wrap around my shoulders
  i pushed you away
  now your arms wrap around my back
  i dont know how to react
  i want you here
  so stay with me
  but let me live
  and make me see

  who. you. are.

  lost.




.bii.